13 Ways to Torture Your Underling
by I Wish I Had A Waffle
Summary: Scarlett is here to inform the general public on 13 Ways to Torture Your Underling! Watch as she demonstrates on Max, each method being more deadly than the last! Will Max survive? Probably not! Please Read and Review and I hope you enjoy! I know I enjoyed writing it! Rated T just to be safe (Its Scarlett after All), might change to M later. NEW CHAPTER IS UP!
1. Chapter 1

**~A/N~ Scarlett's finally getting her revenge on Max? This can't be good! She's picked out her 13 favorite ways to torture him and lets just say, poor Max! I hope you enjoy, and if you have any ideas as to what could possibly happen, feel free to PM me! Thanks, and now it's Scarlett's turn to take the stage:**

_~Chapter 1: Introduction~_

"Greetings fellow homo-sapiens, it is I, Scarlett, who placed 6th in Total Drama Pahkitew Island. Don't bring up the matter, I'd rather not discuss it as it brings back many annoying memories." said Scarlett as she paced back and forth.

She was in a dimly lit room and it was impossible to see anything but Scarlett herself, as she was in the spotlight. "Now you may remember my so called "superior" Max. Well, I am here today to show you that I am much more "evil" than the likes of him. In fact, my number one and only rule is that instead of saying evil, let's use a more suitable term: Malevolent, or if we are in the act of doing so, Malevolence!" said Scarlett as she let out a loud below of evil laughter.

"I thought you were here to introduce _moi_! Not give grammar lessons you blubbering bassoon!" shouted Max from somewhere in the room.

The spotlight shifted from Scarlett to Max, who was currently strapped to an operation table. "I am not here to introduce _you_; I'm here to inform the general public on 13 ways to torture your underling, _you_ being the underling." Scarlett spat.

"I am not your underling, you are _my_ underling! Get it right next time!" shouted Max.

"If you haven't already noticed, my test subject is strapped to this operating table. He will be our "guinea pig" in my 13 ways to torture series." said Scarlett as she flashed a wicked smile at Max.

Of course, Max being _Max_ didn't realize what Scarlett had gotten him into. "So is there a reason you used knock out gas, kidnapped, and strapped evil to a table?" Max asked.

"Yes, for the last time: you are my _test subject_! Get it through your thick skull!" Scarlett snapped.

"Why thank you, having a thick skull will lessen the chances of damage to my abnormally large brain!" said Max arrogantly.

"That wasn't what I meant." Scarlett deadpanned. She was clearly annoyed with Max and was eager to get to method number one.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I shall like to get on with the show and torture you!" Scarlett said.

Max finally seemed to get what Scarlett was saying and a look of horror was placed on his face. "_What_?! Evil will not stand for this! I demand to be released!" Max screamed.

"If you don't keep quiet, I may have to skip to method 13 already! And it's only the introduction! So I suggest you can it." Scarlett hissed.

"Only if you allow Evil a bathroom brake!" said Max.

Scarlett looked like she was about to throttle Max. "Fine. But make it quick, I wouldn't want your squirrel bladder to burst like a balloon." said Scarlett sarcastically.

She quickly untied Max and showed him to the bathroom. And by showing him, she opened the bathroom door and shoved him in. When Scarlett was sure he was a good five feet from the door, she slammed it shut. "You have five minutes! If you're not out by then, I'll break down the door and this series will have to be cut short if you know what I mean!" Scarlett shouted at the door.

"Give me a minute you negative Nancy!" said Max as he unzipped his pants. Scarlett waited impatiently outside the door while Max did his business.

Meanwhile in the bathroom, Max was trying to flush himself down the toilet. "I've got to get out of this psychopath's house!" Max said worriedly.

He quickly hopped into the toilet which only appeared to be moderately clean. Max nearly threw up but help back the vomit.

Outside the door, Scarlett heard a loud splash in the toilet and a sickening thought came into her mind. "What are you doing to my bathroom?" Scarlett calmly, although she was hiding her rage.

"I uh had some bad chili for lunch!" Max lied.

Scarlett let out a sigh, she didn't want to have to go in there, but she could tell Max was probably lying.

"You have two minutes to finish your lavatory visit!" Scarlett warned.

"Come on! Flush faster!" Max half whispered half screamed.

He pushed down the handle on the toilet and a loud flushing sound filled the bathroom. But the water refused to pull him down the pipe. "Please!" Max begged.

He flushed the toilet at least seven times, but to no avail.

Scarlett could hear every flush outside the bathroom door and had had enough. "That's it, I'm coming in!" she shouted.

Scarlett pushed open the unlocked door and found Max sitting in the toilet.

The pudgy purpled haired moron was sitting _in_ the toilet. Scarlett face palmed herself. "Trying to escape? How stupid _are_ you? I can't believe you actually thought you'd fit!" said Scarlett. "You're pathetic!"

Max smiled sheepishly as Scarlett came over and wrenched him out of the toilet bowl. "Ew, you're repulsive! You're soaked!" Scarlett recoiled.

"Toilets these days! What are you gonna do about them?" said Max half joking.

"Just come with me, it's time to begin method 1 of how to torture your underling." said Scarlett as she dragged Max from the bathroom.

Max dug his fingernails into the tile flooring, trying to get away from the psychopath that was holding him. Scarlett slammed Max back onto the operating table and strapped him in extra tight this time. "Gah! Can't….Breath!" Max choked.

Scarlett laughed. "This is gonna be fun"

**~A/N~ I hope you enjoyed the introduction! It figure Max would try flushing himself down the toilet! I can't wait to see the ways Scarlett tortures Max! The next chapter should be up shortly (depending on how much homework I have :P) and don't forget to PM me any ideas you have! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, bye! ;D **


	2. Tar & Feathering

**~A/N~ Hurray for the quick update! I'm so happy chapter 2 is up, and I hope you like it! Each episode, Scarlett will demonstrate a new method; likewise, Max will try to escape in nearly every episode. Just for the heads up most chapters may not be very long; some might, depending on plot or length of torture method. Please Review and I hope you like Method 1!**

_~Chapter 1: Tar & Feathering~_

"Welcome back to Scarlett's 13 Ways to Torture your underling. Today, we will get to start our first method, won't this be entertaining!" said Scarlett.

The spotlight was once again on her, revealing none of her surroundings. "For those of you simpletons who may have chosen to skip the introduction, I will be doing my 13 tests on Max, my unfortunate underling who can't seem to stay away." said Scarlett. The last bit about Max was said with extra annoyance.

"You're the one who kidnapped evil!" shouted Max.

The spotlight shifted to Max who was still strapped to an operating table. "I'll have you know I was having wonderful nappies until you interrupted!" Max shouted.

Scarlett rolled her eyes and continued. "Anyway, time to begin our first technique. Tar and Feathering." said Scarlett with a wicked smiled.

Max gasped. "No! Not tar and feathering!" he screamed. "Wait, what's tar and feathering?"

Max was confused.

Scarlett face palmed herself and groaned. "It is very simple! In the old days, if you did something bad, people would throw a bucket of tar over one's head, and then cover you in feathers, thus shunning you out of the city." said Scarlett.

Max was still puzzled. "Uh….could you repeat that, only leave out all the scientific words." He said.

Scarlett looked like she was ready to strangle someone, specifically Max. "I pour bucket of tar on your head. You scream in pain, and then I shower you in feathers!" Scarlett said in the most 'dumb-dumb' way possible.

"Ooooh! I get it now!" Max said calmly. "AAAAAHHHHHH!"

Max wriggled in place, trying to escape the belt that was strapping him to the table. "Get me out of here! Someone call the police!" he shouted. "Wait, the police might confiscate my weapons! Never mind, call Batman!" he pleaded.

Scarlett smiled at Max's agony, yet she hadn't even dumped the tar on him yet. "Okay, now if you'll excuse me, I will be getting my bucket of tar! Don't move! Well, it's not like you have a choice!" Scarlett laughed. She left the room.

"Okay, now's my chance!" Max whispered to himself. He squirmed some more, until the belt became more loose. "Yes!" he said as he slipped down. "Now to get the heck out of here!" Max shouted to himself.

Just as he was leaving the room, a glint of light caught his eye. He turned to see a whole wall filled with weapons. Bazookas to guns to bombs to grenades, it was all there. Max almost cried at the array of artillery. "I should leave. But not before confiscating some of these weapons!" Max said cheerfully.

He began stuffing his pants and shirt with the weaponry, making himself look much fatter than he was to begin with. Just as he turned to leave, Scarlett was walking back in with the tar bucket. She stopped in her tracks when she saw Max. "Get back…..on the table." She ordered.

Max shook his head and pulled out a bazooka. He fired, sending a loud boom in the room. But without moving anything but her arm, Scarlett quickly pulled out an even bigger and more futuristic looking bazooka. She shot at Max's previous fire, completely sending it away from Scarlett herself. There was a loud boom as they collided and the room shook. "Get on the table." Scarlett repeated, only this time she was holding Max at gun point.

Max reluctantly hopped back on the table, not wanting to get shot. "Hand them over." Scarlett said yawning.

Max pulled out every weapon he had and handed them to Scarlett. "And the grenade." She said.

Max smiled sheepishly and turned over the last grenade from his pocket.

"Predictable. Well, time to get on with the tar and feathering." Scarlett said. She picked up the bucket from the floor and stood on top of a stool so she could begin pouring. She held the bucket over Max's head and tipped ever so slightly at an incredibly slow pace. Max closed his eyes and braced for the worst.

Finally, Scarlett tipped the bucket enough and the tar dripped down slowly. Max, not feeling anything, looked up just as the tar reached his head. "GAAAAHHHH!" he screamed in agony.

The black, sticky, thick, liquid dripped over him from head to toe. Max continued to scream as the searing hot liquid burned his skin.

Scarlett laughed at Max's pain. "Don't worry, it gets more humorous!" she said over Max's shrieks.

Max couldn't explain how horrible it felt to be burned alive by hot tar, and _not_ to die. It was just plain torture.

Scarlett walked over to a large brown, wooden cabinet and opened it. Inside was a large bag of white feathers. Scarlett smiled wickedly and pulled them out. "Now this is where it goes from torture to just plain embarrassment!" Scarlett said. She stepped back on the stool and threw the bag of feathers at Max. His body was covered with feathers, most of them stuck; others fell to the floor or just hung loosely. Max shouted something that sounded liked "NOOOOOO" but under the screams from the tar, it was difficult to tell.

Now, Max resembled a black chicken with white feathers, or maybe a newspaper. Scarlett decided to have some fun and unbuckled Max from the operating table. He immediately hoped off and began running around like a madman, still screaming in agony. "Evil is so much pain! I look like a giant chicken!" Max screamed.

Scarlett laughed again as Max ran into the bathroom. He jumped into the toilet, cooling off the incredibly hot tar. "Really Max? The toilet _again_?" Scarlett said smiling.

"Very funny, I'll have you know that Evil does not appreciate your sense of humor!" Max said, his face stuck in the toilet. He pulled himself out, and now he was hardened. "Help me! I can't move!" he said through a stiff mouth.

Scarlett grinned and picked Max up. She then tossed him into the wastebasket, where he couldn't move. "Get me out of here stinky!" Max shouted. His head was facedown in the trashcan, and it echoed a bit.

"Trash belongs in the trashcan!" Scarlett said.

"Evil is not 'Trash'! Evil prefers to be recycled." Max said as he crossed his arms.

"Well, that concludes method 1 of this series! Remember, they always get more painful! Until next time, I'm Scarlett and this has been: 13 Ways to Torture your Underling!" Scarlett said in her fake Scarlett voice.

Max screamed from the wastebasket as Scarlett said something completely out of character. "Spaz."

**~A/N~ Hope you enjoyed The Tar & Feathering episode! If only you could see Max as a giant chicken! This was a pretty fun one to write! By the way, this is about how long most episodes will be, so just hang tight! Every know and then a longer one will come along. Also, before I forget, some past contestants will be making appearances! Hope you enjoy and the next chapter might be up later this week or next week! ;D**


	3. Weight and Repeat

~A/N~ **Yay! Episode 3 is here! This one was interesting to write, and I hope you like reading it! And for those of you Jasmine Fans, you'll love this one! Oops, I've said too much! Anyway, Scarlett is ready to begin, so I guess it's time to see what torturous way she's come up with this time! Enjoy! :D**

_~Chapter 2: Weight and Repeat~_

"Ah yes, another marvelous episode of 13 Ways to Torture Your Underling, I am of course Scarlett, and today we will be doing an interesting method." said Scarlett.

"Evil demands to be let go! I will not stand for this! That tar was ouchies!" Max whined.

His body was charred; bits of hardened tar were still splattered all over his face. He looked like a wreck!

"Silence incompetent underling!" Scarlett growled.

She paced back and forth, Max in the background, once again strapped to the table. "Today, we will be doing an interesting combination of _two_ methods I have come up with! The first one is slowly putting more weight on the victim using an elephant! Sorry all you animal lovers, I was not able to receive my elephant shipment on time. Max, remind me to shoot the mail man when he gets here." said Scarlett casually.

Max nodded, not wanting to get shot himself. He was secretly glad that Scarlett hadn't gotten her elephants on time, that would have hurt!

"So, because of this unfortunate incident, I will have to use the next best thing: One of my fellow contestants from the dreaded series that is Total Drama Pahkitew Island." Scarlett said angrily.

Suddenly, an extremely tall girl with dark skin walked into the room. There was a thunk as the tall figure hit her head on the door frame. "Ow!" shouted the girl in a thick Aussie accent.

None other than Jasmine stood in the doorway. "Just for the record, I only came here to teach that dork a lesson!" she said, pointing at Max. "I still can't forgive you for nearly killing me!"

"Understandable, but I am glad you accepted my invitation to help Me." said Scarlett. "Now go stand next to Max while I tell the viewers about part 2." said Scarlett.

Jasmine rolled her dark, nearly black eyes. But she reluctantly stood next to the pudgy, purple haired weirdo.

"Now then, part 2 of today's torture process will require this tape recorder." said Scarlett.

She smiled wickedly and pressed a small red button on the side.

Suddenly, Max's voice sounded from the device. "Evil!" it said.

But it didn't stop, it repeated the same word, in Max's voice, over and over again.

Jasmine covered her ears in annoyance. "As much as I _love_ hearing myself speak, EVIL is getting annoyed!" Max screamed.

"That's exactly what I'm counting on! Jasmine, commence standing on top of him." said Scarlett.

Jasmine nodded and put one foot on Max's spine. Scarlett had already shoved Max to the floor while she was playing the cassette tape, so he was in perfect pain position. "Now to place the tape recorder just out of reach!" Scarlett said.

She set down the recorder in front of Max's face and it played over and over. "Gah! This is agony! Make it stop, Make it stop!" Max whined.

"Apply more force to the test subject!" Scarlett snapped at Jasmine.

She nodded and pushed harder with her foot. "How does this feel?" Jasmine asked.

"PAINFUL!" Max cried.

"It was a rhetorical question." Jasmine said in her Australian accent. She didn't even ask Scarlett if she could push harder, she did it anyway. "This is what you get for throwing the game with those monkeys!" Jasmine shouted.

"That was like four months ago! Can't you cut evil some slack?" Max screamed.

"Harder!" Scarlett shouted.

Jasmine smiled and continued, the record player still playing Max's voice over and over. "Evil! Evil! Eeeevil!" it said.

"Shut up!" Max yelled at the tape recorder."

"As you can see, the method has worked, and Max is clearly towards the point of insanity." said Scarlett. "Or at least more insane than he already is." She added quickly.

Suddenly there was a high-pitched growl and Jasmine's hat flew off. "My hat! Bad whiskers!" she shouted.

Whiskers the cat roared and leapt onto a shelf. "Grab her!" Jasmine screamed.

Just as Scarlett was about to grab the cat, it jumped onto her head. "Get it off me! I'm allergic to felines!" she shouted.

Scarlett began sneezing as she tried to rip the cat from her orange hair.

Jasmine got off of Max and ran over to Scarlett to try to grab Whiskers. But, of course, Whiskers jumped onto Jasmine's face and attempted to claw out her eyes. "Ow!" she shrieked

"I'll get it!" Scarlett yelled. She pulled a bazooka off of the wall and fired. The blast whizzed by Jasmine's head, cracking the wall behind her. Scarlett fired again, and once again missed. Now, the city skyline was visible outside the gaping hold in the wall.

"Stop trying to shoot me and my Whiskers!" Jasmine pleaded.

She stumbled back into a desk and fell over just as Whiskers bounded over to the weapons arsenal.

"No!" Scarlett and Jasmine shouted in unison.

Whiskers suddenly began acting like a well-mannered kitten, and pawed at one of the many bazookas hanging from the wall. "Gah!" Scarlett screamed as the blasts shot through the room. Rubble rained down from the ceiling in huge clouds of dust. It looked like an Earthquake had struck!

"Wait, where's Max?!" Scarlett shouted over the noise. She spotted the plump purple-haired scientist. He was running out of the room! But before Scarlett could do anything, a stray bazooka shot hit the ceiling directly above Max. He looked up, and to his surprise, the ceiling collapsed in on him.

"Well, I suppose this would be a proper place to conclude this week's episode of 13Ways to Torture Your Underling!" Scarlett said over Max's pleading screams from under the rubble.

Before Scarlett could sign off, Whiskers leapt at the camera and clawed it into submission.

**~A/N~ Oh Whiskers! I was originally going to just leave it with Jasmine stepping on Max, but it seemed too short, so I decided to spice it up a little! I hope all you Jasmine fans liked her appearance, and for you other Total Drama Character fans, don't worry, some more past contestants will be returning! Tell me what you think in the reviews, and stay tuned next time! Also, don't forget to PM me any ideas you might have for techniques that Scarlett could use! I will most likely be updating this story more often, as it doesn't take too long to write a chapter, so I hope you like the quick updates! Until next time, I'm I Wish I Had A Waffle! ;D **


	4. Rack Stretching & Torturous Tickling

**~A/N~ MOO-HA-HA! MOO-HA-HA! Scarlett is back and she's been itching to try out her newest technique! I love all the ideas readers are sending me, so be sure to continue! Also, I'd like to note that this episode's method was based off of ideas from **_**PrincessThunderQuake**_** and **_**Zorbo678**_**! Thanks for sending in the wonderful ideas! So, without further or do, I'd like to let Scarlett take over!**

_~Chapter 3: Rack Stretching & Torturous Tickling~_

"Welcome back to 13 Ways to Torture Your Underling, I'm Scarlett and today we will be-

Scarlett was interrupted by the doorbell. She looked irritated, but reluctantly headed towards the door. She grabbed a meat cleaver that was stabbed into a model of planet earth. She wrenched it free from the planet and prepared to hit whoever was at her door.

The doorbell rang again and Scarlett opened the door. "_What?!_" She asked angrily.

The person at the door gulped, seeing the meat cleaver in her hand. He wore a blue mailman's suit and his hand was leaning against a massive wooden box. "Are you Scarlett?" he asked.

"Yes, now get on with it! I am currently in the middle of a program." Scarlett said.

"The elephant you ordered is here." The mailman replied quickly.

Scarlett slammed the meat cleaver into the doorframe and grabbed the pen that the mailman had offered. She signed the paper and looked up at the wooden crate.

The mailman still stood there and Scarlett looked back at him. "You may go now, feature subordinate." Scarlett said.

The mailman looked horrified and ran off screaming. Scarlett smiled and turned around, dragging the large crate behind her, using a rope. The box smashed through the doorway and into Scarlett's room. Max, who was once again strapped onto the operating table, screaming in terror as Scarlett continued pulling the box in. She kicked it and the wooden barrier fell, and a cage was revealed. Inside was a giant grey elephant.

"Gah!" Max screamed, knowing this couldn't end well.

"Don't worry fool; I've spared you this time! You're just lucky the mailman was late last time. I shall use this beauty in a later episode." Scarlett said.

Max nearly fainted. "So, what torturous way do you have in store today? Hopefully something like a break? Oh, I _hate _those!" Max said, trying to trick Scarlett.

"Max, do you think I'm stupid?" Scarlett asked.

"Well…" Max was about to say but thought better of it, as Scarlett glared at him with a glare filled with so much hatred it could kill a person.

"Now then, onto the method of the day." Scarlett said, snapping back to her regularly evil self. "Today we will be stretching you on a rack! Remind you of anything?" Scarlett asked.

"No! Not that! Anything but that!" Max screamed, remembering Heather being stretched on a rack in London.

"Oh, don't worry, that's not all! You will also be tickled relentlessly using my new Tickle Automaton! Any last words? You know, just in case you don't make it?" Scarlett questioned.

She knew Max wouldn't die physically, but she wasn't sure weather he'd die mentally. "Let's just get on with this." Scarlett said.

She grabbed a squealing and flailing Max off of the table and slammed is pudgy body onto the stretching rack. It was old and wooden, and probably smelled like rotten eggs. "Ew! What is that stench?" Max asked as he scrunched up is nose.

"This is _the_ stretching rack from season 3 of Total Drama, I made a deal with Chris." Scarlett said.

___**Flashback**___

"Give me the stretching rack or perish." Scarlett said casually.

Chris was tied up, and dangling over a random volcano. He tried to stay calm, but the blood was rushing to his head. "No way! That rack was fifty bucks!" Chris whined.

"Perhaps you need a demonstration of what I can do." Scarlett threatened.

She looked down to a remote in her hand, and pressed a red button. Chris was lowered further and further into the volcano. "Okay, okay! You can have the rack! Just don't damage my perfect hair! Geez!" Chris said.

Suddenly the rope turned him upside down and his hair began sliding off his head. _Right_ into the volcano. "_Noooooooo_!" He whined.

Scarlett laughed at Chris's misery as Chris continued to wiggle around in his rope trap. Scarlett just walked down the side of the volcano, still laughing, leaving Chris to hang over the burning lava pit.

___**End Flashback**___

"Let's commence your torture!" Scarlett laughed.

She tied Max's hands and feet to two sets of ropes, and cranked a lever on the side. The ropes began stretching Max's brittle body. "Gah! Somebody help me! Get me away from this violent psycho!" Max screamed.

"Commence tickling!" Scarlett said and pressed a button on her remote.

A small blue robot that resembled a vacuum rolled up to the stretching rack. A small hatch opened and a robotic hand sprang out from the body of the robot. The hand caressed the air and reached for Max. He screamed, but it may have been from the rack that was still stretching him. The hand began tickling him like no tomorrow, and Max let out the odd combination of laughter, crying, and screaming.

"Well, this is satisfying, but I'm bored." Scarlett said.

She pressed a button and the cage with the elephant opened. "I thought you said you weren't using the elephant on evil today!" Max whined.

"I lied. You should know I never tell the truth." Scarlett smiled.

"So tell me this will hurt!" Max screamed as the ticklebot's arm came closer to his face.

"Oh, it won't hurt a bit!" Scarlett said, ignoring Max's pleads.

"You're right, you do lie!" Max shrieked as the elephant began to sit down, right on top of him.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!_" Max bawled; the elephant's butt only inches from his face.

Scarlett laughed as the elephant finally sat down on Max. His screams were muffled by the elephant's rump.

"Well, I guess that concludes today's episode! Next time we will be covering method number 4 of this series! Trust me, you'll love it, almost as much as Max will hate it!" Scarlett said; Max's screams turning into sobs and crying.

**~A/N~ And there you have it! Episode 3! I hope you enjoyed the elephant, and yes, I know it's kind of impossible, but hey: This is **_**MY**_** story! Well, actually it's Scarlett's, but she doesn't care either. Remember to keep sending in ideas, and once again thank you **_**PrincessThunderQuake **_**and **_**Zorbo678**_** for the most dastardly evil ideas! Hope you enjoyed the story, and be sure to Read and Review! Chao! **


	5. DartBoards & Ghost Peppers

**~A/N~ I'm back! Sorry it took so long, I've been busy with school! Plus, I have started another FanFiction called "Same Old Disgusting Island"! Why don't you check it out! (After you're done reading this of course! XD) :D**

**Anyway, Max and Scarlett are back, and let's just say Max is in for some pain and suffering. BIG time! Also, just a reminder, I (and by I, I mean Scarlett) have been running out of torturous ideas! I know, it sounds impossible, but it's happening, and there is something you can do! Just PM me any ideas you have, and you can keep Max on that operating table for more torturous fun! :D**

**By the way, this episode's ideas were inspired by **_**PrincessThunderQuake **_**and **_**SargentEpsilon**_**, once again, thank you for all you ideas, and keep it up! I like them! XD**

_~Chapter 4: Dart Boards & Ghost Peppers~_

"Hello there, I am Scarlett and welcome back to another episode of 13 Ways to Torture Your Underling!" Scarlett introduced herself.

She paced back and forth, a dim spotlight shown on her, revealing nothing else in the room.

"I have some very bad news." Scarlett continued. "It appears we are running low on funds, and if we run low on funds, we will not be able to continue this series." Scarlett looked concerned for once, and continued to pace back and forth. "While I would ordinarily steal what I need, it has come to my attention that this series seems to be a success in all 195 countries of the world. Therefore, I am not able to resume my regular routine, for I may be arrested." Scarlett said. "So, it is up to all you enthusiasts out there to send in cash so this series can continue. If all hope is lost, at least we can review all four episodes that have been aired so far." Scarlett said.

"Hey! Is your imperial highness going introduce me or not?!" Max shouted arrogantly from somewhere in the room. Scarlett turned to Max, who was, as usual, strapped to the infamous operating table. One had to wonder if he slept on it.

"I was getting to that! I just had to attend to a matter more important than the likes of _you_!" Scarlett spat.

"More important than me? I am the star of the show! There is no show without the pure evil that is me!" Max cackled.

"This may be so, for without you, there would be no one to humiliate as well as torture! _But_, without _me_, there would be no one to carry out that duty, so we are both required for this series." Scarlett said scientifically.

Max looked like he was about to cry with laughter. His cheeks bulged out of his face, tears of comedy welling in his eyes. In truth, he looked like a mutated monkey. "You said _duty_!" He choked out.

But he couldn't hold it in anymore; he let out a huge round of laughter.

Scarlett face palmed herself and looked back at Max with disgust. "Only an incompetent being such as yourself would find that amusing." She said in her "I'm-about-ready-to-murder-you voice".

Max immediately stopped laughing, and regained his serious gaze. "You're right sidekick, it was wrong of me to think of that as funny! Truly the only hilarity you can feel is when you are crushing your enemies in an evil battle!" Max said.

The background suddenly changed to red as Max crouched into his infamous pose.

"Anyway, before this episode becomes a bust, let's get on with our torture method!" Scarlett said, clearly eager to get on with it.

"Today we have five special guests will get a chance to stab Max in the gut!" Scarlett said enthusiastically.

Max looked horrified. "You mean you're actually going to kill me?! I mean, I know this series might come to an end, but does that mean I do too!" Max said worriedly.

"Oh don't worry; you'll be strapped to a dartboard while spinning! There will be only a 60% chance that you'll get hit!" Scarlett said cheerfully.

"60%?! That's more than half the odds! I'm bound to get skewered!" Max shrieked.

"Yes, yes you are!" Scarlett said, and turned around to prepare the dartboard. "Also, while you spin, you'll be eating five ghost peppers! One will be added into your mouth before each guest of honor gets to shoot." She said.

Max's heart nearly stopped, as Scarlett pulled out a large dartboard and mounted it to the wall. A large metal lever stuck out of the wall next to the board, which presumably started the spinning. "If my research is correct, aren't ghost peppers among the hottest on the planet!" Max screeched.

"Correct, that is why I'm feeding them to you! You should be thanking me; the last thing I fed you was a can of meat I found in a dumpster. The label said it strengthens hooves, horns, and teeth. Ghost peppers are probably the best thing I've fed you in a while." Scarlett said.

Max stuck out his tongue and began wiping it rapidly with his hands. "Ew! That's animal food! What is wrong with you! You're a psycho!" Max accused.

"Why thank you!" Scarlett said, taking it as a compliment.

She unstrapped Max from the table and carried him over to the dartboard, but not without plenty of struggling.

"Let me go you psychotic stinky!" Max whined as Scarlett fastened a belt around his waist.

"It's time to introduce our first guest of honor!" Scarlett smiled wickedly. "Izzy!"

A blur of red and green zoomed into the room, and Izzy hung from Scarlett's model of the world. Izzy grabbed the meat cleaver and chucked it at Max. He screamed, and the cleaver was embedded just above his fat head. "Aha! So close!" Izzy cheered.

Max opened his eyes and looked up, seeing the meat cleaver. "Yipe!" He cried.

"So, what's the deal, do I get to shoot him! Oh, oh! That reminds me of the time I was at my family reunion and my crazy uncle who cut off half his ear grabbed a bow and arrow and shot the punch bowl! We had a service for it after the reunion, it was pretty crazy!" Izzy rambled.

Scarlett, for once, was at a loss for words. "Um…o-kay, well, it's time for you to take aim!" Scarlett said, she grabbed a bow and arrow off of the desk and handed it to Izzy. "Hold on, let me get the ghost pepper!" Scarlett said, and grabbed one out of a bucket.

"Whoa! Ghost peppers?! I love those! Gimme one!" Izzy shouted.

Scarlett looked confused but tossed her one anyway. Izzy shoved it into her mouth, and five seconds late, breathed out a ball of fire. "That's good stuff!" She said.

"Okay, there we go! Get ready to shoot while Max chews!" Scarlett said as she pushed another pale white pepper into Max's mouth. He let out a muffled cry from the spiciness while Scarlett pulled the lever, spinning the wheel. The wheel began slowly, then faster and faster. "Gah! Evil is getting dizzy!" Max shouted. "And my mouth is on fire!"

"Must everything be about you?!" Scarlett shouted.

Izzy took aim and let go of the bow, sending a sharp arrow piercing through the air. Light glinted off the tip as it headed straight for Max. He screamed as the Arrow landed directly below his nether regions.

"Gah! That was a close one!" Max screamed, a fireball shooting from his mouth.

"Oh! Sorry Izzy, but you lose! See ya next time, and nice try!" Scarlett smiled.

Max glared at Scarlett as Izzy shrugged and leapt out of the room, shouting something. "Well, that happened." Scarlett said awkwardly. "Next up we have Eva!" She said excitedly.

Eva walked in the room, showing off her usual scowl. "Let's just get this over with." She mumbled.

She grabbed the bow and arrow and was ready to take aim. "Hold on there! I need to add another ghost pepper!" Scarlett shouted as she grabbed another one. She shoved it into Max's mouth and he let out a wheeze. "Okay, he's ready!" Scarlett said.

Eva took aim and fired. The arrow flew across the room and landed with a tear of fabric. Max looked to his arm where the arrow had pierced his sleeve. He gasped, realizing it was only a few millimeters from his skin. "So close Eva! Just don't throw a temper tantrum!" Scarlett joked.

Eva was not amused, she grabbed the dartboard with Max on it, and threw it across the room. Ma screamed as he landed with a crash. "Um…we're experiencing some technical difficulties! We'll be right back!" Scarlett said.

_~*Beep*~_

"Okay, we're back and Eva is out of here! Next we have Lightning!" Scarlett said.

Lightning leapt into the room, bounced off a wall, and landed perfectly in front of Max, who was back on the dartboard, which was once again hanging from the wall. "Lightning's here to sha-win this!" Lightning shouted with pleasure. "Wait, what do I win anyway?" Lightning asked.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there." Scarlett said.

Lightning looked confused. "Just shoot!" She shouted at his incompetence.

Scarlett had already shoved the third pepper into his mouth as Lightning fired. The arrow soared through the air and landed right above Max's head. "What?! No! Lightning did not lose!" Lightning shouted, and fired again.

He missed again, and fired again.

At this point, Scarlett was getting annoyed, and Lightning had fired his fiftieth shot. Max was outlined with arrows, and about to pass out. Lightning collapsed to the ground with exhaustion. "Okay, you loose Lightning!" Scarlett said, and kicked his unconscious body out the door. "Okay, next up we have Jo!" Scarlett said.

Jo walked in, also scowling. She grabbed the bow and arrow and fired. "Wait! I haven't even given him the pepper!" Scarlett shouted.

Jo ignored her, and let the arrow continue at Max. It miraculously missed, Max was praising God now. "Aw! Jo's out! Well, I guess that's it!" Scarlett said, and quickly shoved Jo out the door. "Hey! Wait, don't I get-

She was interrupted when the door slammed her out. Pounding could be heard on the other side. "Wait, didn't you say five people?" Max asked, them immediately covered his mouth after he said that.

"Oh! You're right! I saved the last spot for me!" Scarlett smiled wickedly. She grabbed an arrow and fired it from the bow. The arrow took off towards the dartboard and landed directly in between two of Max's fingers. He yelped, at the sight of the arrow coming so close. "Dang it!" Scarlett whined.

Max breathed a huge sigh of relief. "Well, I guess that's it for this episode!" Scarlett said.

She put a blindfold on, and fired the arrow. Screams from Max could be heard as the screen blacked out.

**~A/N~ Well that was one of the longer chapters! I hope you guys liked the appearances of Izzy, Lightning, Eva, and Jo! The next chapter should hopefully be up soon, and don't forget to review this one! Remember to send in any ideas you have, no matter if you think they're bad or good! Once again thanks, and see you next time! :D**


	6. Just A Little Holiday Laziness!

**~A/N~ Sorry it took so long to finish this chapter! I was busy with homework and such! I've noticed a lack of reviews, and I'm sorry to say, if we don't get enough reviews, Scarlett will have to cancel the show, or worse: Start a fundraiser! GAH! What a terrifying thought! Well, anyway, I currently have 4 stories in the process, so chapters may not come as often. Well, anyway, don't forget to review any requests you have, or just to show Scarlett you care! By the way, I know it's a bit early, but this episode is mostly dedicated to the holidays coming up! So, enjoy! :D**

_~Chapter 5: Just a Little Holiday Laziness~_

Scarlett yawned as she began her intro. "Welcome to another episode of _(Yawn)_ 13 Ways to Torture Your Underling. I'm _(Yawn) _Scarlett and I'm tired." She said as she collapsed to the floor.

"Get your lazy butt off the ground and get on with the freaking episode, stinky head!" Max insulted from his corner, where he was mounted to an operating table. "Wait, why am I encouraging you to torture me?"

"Shut up incompetent fool, I'm getting to it; I just _(Yawn) _ate a large turkey in celebration of the holiday season. While I _(Yawn) _don't ordinarily celebrate Thanksgiving, because there is nothing to be thankful for anyway, I decided it would be fine if I ate a _(Yawn) _turkey. Obviously I had forgotten of their lazy powers, and about this show, and therefore I was _(Yawn)_ oblivious to my mistake at the time." Scarlett said, still on the floor.

"The yawn count is now at six!" Max announced from his table.

"I said silence!" Scarlett shouted, standing up from her spot on the floor. "Now, to get on with this episode so I can go to sleep."

Scarlett walked over to her desk, where she fell again, only this time she crashed into several of her tubes and beakers filled with, probably toxic, chemicals. They splashed onto the floor, shards of glass falling through a gaping hole in the floor, which had been created by some sort of acid. It was currently still burning a hole through the floor when Scarlett noticed this. "Great. Just great. Now I have to call the repairman, remind me to shoot him when he's finished." Scarlett said.

"So, what are you going to do to me today? Seeing as you are so tired, I suggest you take a nap and let me go free?" Max suggested, although he wasn't so sure he'd get away with it.

"I'm not gonna let you go, are you stupid? But I _am_ tired, so I think I will cut you the most microscopic piece of slack, and let you off the hook for today." Scarlett said.

Max was overjoyed. "Yes! No pain will come to me today!" Max said.

"You do realize you just jinxed yourself, right?" Scarlett asked.

"Evil does not believe in magic, only in curses, and evil itself!" Max proclaimed.

"Well, I'm glad you think that, because it's time for me to change your mind. You are not off the hook completely, I have a list of holiday chores for you to do." Scarlett told him.

"Ew! Evil does not do chores! Evil will not stand for this!" Max shouted.

"Okay then." Scarlett said, and pressed a red button on a small remote control.

The belt pinning Max to his table released, sending Max to the floor. "Ow! Evil does not appreciate your sense of humor!" Max shouted.

"Oh, and don't even think about escaping, I've blocked all the exits, _and_ enabled my outside barrier, so there's not way you can get out." Scarlett said.

"Phooey, curse your genius ways!" Max cried out.

Scarlett ignored him and grabbed a list off of her desk. She shoved it into Max's hands. "Here's your list of chores, complete them or suffer consequences. Also, each chore is times, so if you do not complete them in time, you will be electrocuted by this shock collar." Scarlett said as she connected the metal collar to Max's neck.

The metal choker electrocuted Max, and he jolted in pain. Smoke curled off his brittle body as he cried out in pain. "Hey! I didn't even do anything yet!" he complained.

"This is the prototype, it's not completely finished, so it might shock you at anytime." Scarlett said, smiling wickedly.

"Oh joy. You've really done it this time. I'll be lucky if it kills me!" Max said.

"I'll be lucky too, now get to your first chore, you only have 10 minutes." Scarlett said, as she lay on her bed, prepared to take her nap.

"Chore number one: Hang up the Christmas lights for the upcoming holiday." Max read from the list. "That's odd, I never thought Scarlett would be one to celebrate Christmas."

Max stepped into the garage, where a large red box, labeled: Christmas Lights, sat. He opened up the green lid and pulled out rows upon rows of tangled Christmas lights, and he began to go to work.

* * *

><p>It was about eight minutes later when Max finished hanging up all the lights. He had fallen off the ladder dozens of times, and his arms, legs, and butt were aching. Not to mention the killer headache that attached his skull. She stood back to look at his creation.<p>

The Christmas lights were arranged into a picture of Santa Claus on a guillotine, his head preparing to be chopped off. "Well, that explains a lot." Max said. "Leave it to Scarlett to traumatize children on Christmas."

"I'm rather fond of the chubby elf though, he would always bring me new grenade or something. However, he never gave me that bazooka I wished for. I guess he gets what he deserves!" Max said referring to the horror scene that the lights were arranged in. "Well, time to light these babies up, before I get electrocuted!" Max said, and he quickly reached for the two cords.

He was about to link them together, but not before a countdown! "5….4….3….2….1!" He shouted, and he linked them together.

The response was an electrocution, but not from his collar, from the socket. Max once again lay on the ground, jolting in pain. When the electrical surge died down, Max got up. "Stupid electrical socket." And with that, his collar shocked him. "Of course.

After his pain was over, he looked up at the lights, which, despite the electrocution, were working. Color flowed through them, but these lights were moving ones. They moved in a motion of the guillotine coming down on Santa's neck. Max winced at Santa's demise. "Poor Santa, should have just gotten me that bazooka like I'd wished for." Was all he said.

* * *

><p>It was now time for the second chore: raking the leaves. "Well, this seems harmless." Max said. He really needed to stop jinxing himself.<p>

Max walked over to the shed where the rake should be in. He tried to open the door, but to no avail. It was locked. "Blasted door! I will destroy you, and your family!" He shouted to the inanimate object.

He kicked through it, and it surprisingly fell to the floor. Inside the shed was a lawnmower, rake, and several other tools that belonged in shed. "Mayhap if I used the lawnmower, I could just chop up the leaves, disposing of them at the spot!" Max said, proud of his genius thinking.

He rolled the lawnmower out of the old wooden shed and started it. It rumbled to life, and began vibrating, and making the average lawnmower sound. He began rolling it around, plowing over leaves, sending small chopped up bits in every direction. "This is working like a genius!" he said. "I guess it couldn't hurt to move it up to overdrive, just to get things moving faster!" Max said, oblivious to the future consequences.

He turned the knob to overdrive, and the lawnmower immediately responded by going crazy. It pulled Max along with it as it plowed through the yard. Eventually the lawnmower was headed straight for Scarlett's house. Max screamed as the small gardening machine rammed right into the wall, creating an explosion. A gaping hole in the wall led to Scarlett's living room. Debris flew in all directions, soot cascaded down, leaving a small pile of the stuff on virtually everything.

Max lay, nearly unconscious on the totaled lawnmower. "Ugh, Scarlett is gonna be so mad!" he said nervously. "I have no choice but to try and escape, or she'll kill me for sure!" he wailed.

Surprisingly, Scarlett was still in deep sleep upstairs in her room, oblivious to the destruction of her house below.

Max raced out of the hole in the wall and ran for the vast forest behind Scarlett's house. He rammed right into a red wall of light, that only appeared when he hit it. "Gah!" He shrieked as the force field electrocute him.

Max cursed and looked around for any escape holed. He found none and sighed. Then, he got an idea. "Perhaps if I complete all the chores, the force field will be deactivated!" he thought.

He ran back to the house and grabbed the torn list of chores from the cushion of a couch. "Let's see, chore number three says I have to bake a turkey for thanksgiving dinner." Max read. "Another turkey? She's already asleep because of one, but two? She's crazy!"

But Max reluctantly headed into the kitchen, stepping over rubble. On the counter of Scarlett's kitchen was a large frozen turkey. "The list says to set it for three hours on low. Oh, that'll take too long! I'll just set it for five minutes on extremely high!" Max concluded.

Clearly this made no sense, but to Max it was brilliant. He Shoved the turkey into the oven and slammed the door shut. Then, he turned the knob to extremely high (Who knew that was a setting!) and then set the clock for five minutes.

It was only a minute later when a loud boom came from the oven. Max turned around, for he was looking out the window, and saw the aftermath. _Another _gaping hole in the wall was created from the explosion of the oven. "Yep, I'm a dead man." Max concluded as he looked over the rubble.

Suddenly, there was a creaking of footsteps on the stairs, and Max saw Scarlett walking down. She first eyed the destruction of her living room, and then spotted Max next to the other hole in the wall. She seemed calm at first. "What have you don't Max." She said, clearly annoyed.

"I uh, did your chores!" he said, trying to get out of a serious problem.

"I'll be right back." Scarlett said, and retreated to her room. Max seemed relived, but when Scarlett returned with a Meat cleaver, and a bazooka he knew he was in trouble. "_IM GONNA MURDER YOU, YOU LITTLE __***Beep***__!_" Scarlett shrieked like a banshee.

Max also shrieked like a banshee, only higher pitched. He ran away from a screaming Scarlett who chased after him, she had gained a chainsaw, which she carried in one hand, the meat cleaver now moved to her mouth. She looked like a death machine.

"And this concludes this episode of 13 Ways to Torture Your Underling!" Scarlett roared. "And probably Max's life as well!"

She ran after Max, who hightailed into the yard. Yep. He's doomed. I don't know if we'll see him again.

**~A/N~ Yes, I am deeply sorry for the sudden and gruesome demise of Santa Claus, and your childhood dreams. Scarlett has probably scared you for life now, so I guess I'll have to talk to her about that. As for Max, I don't know if he'll survive. Let's hope so though, or there's no more show! Anyway, review what you think of this chapter, was it funny? Was it sadistic? Was it insane? Was it all three?! I hope you enjoyed it, and once again, I'm very sorry for the Santa Claus bit, it was just something Scarlett would do! Another holiday chapter will be up soon for the Christmas season! Bye! ;D**


	7. Gone Fishing (Well, Kind of)

**~A/N~ Well, the next chapter is up! This one will be normal, while the next episode will be Christmas themed! All I can say is that the Christmas themed episode can't end well! I hope you enjoy what Scarlett's gonna do to Max this time! That is, if he's still alive!**

**Believe it or not, I am actually running out of ideas, so I totally wouldn't mind if you gave me some! We're about halfway through! I can assure you Max will **_**not**_** be killed, but the ending might surprise you! So, let's find out if Max is still alive!**

_~Chapter 6: Gone Fishing (Well, kind of) ~_

"I am Scarlett, and I am happy to say I am well rested, and no longer vengeful. However, my house is still in ruins, and the repairman is working on it as we speak." Scarlett said. "If you can recall to last episode, Max pretty much demolished my house, and I only gave him a list of _three_ things to do!"

"Hey! I completed all three tasks, and you _still _electrocuted me! _And _you tried to kill me with a chainsaw!" Max complained.

"Maybe _you_ shouldn't have blasted _two_ holes in my house! Now there's a terrible draft!" Scarlett retaliated.

"Oh, by the way, just a reminder, you wanted to shoot the repairman after he finishes the job." Max said, trying to change the subject.

"Oh, yes! I nearly forgot, thank you Max." Scarlett said. "But you aren't getting out of today's method that easy!" She added quickly.

"But I-

"Shut up and eat your canned animal food!" Scarlett snapped.

"Yes ma'am." Max said quietly, and quickly reached for his canned meat.

"Today on 13 Ways to Torture your Underling, we will be going fishing, Max of course will be the bait. We'll be leaving shortly, just as soon as Max finishes his breakfast, and as soon as the repairman finishes fixing my house!" Scarlett said.

Suddenly there was a loud hammering sound, followed by a deep voice. "Finished! Now pay me so I can get out of here!"

Scarlett glared at the voice of the repairman and let out a sigh. She grabbed a bazooka-looking weapon from her large wall of artillery and headed out her bedroom door.

When she reached the bottom of her staircase, there was a grungy looking man holding out his hand, waiting for pay. He had black scruffy hair, and his clothes were torn in some places, and mysterious stains littered his outfit.

"Wait, what are you doing with that bazooka?!" He said, suddenly thinking of something other than money.

Scarlett gave no reply, and fired the bazooka. The repairman screamed, as a cloud of fog wafted through the space. Scarlett closed her eyes and coughed as the fog lifted.

In the repairman's place was not a pile of ash, but a Chinchilla! "Ugh, I must have seized the wrong weapon, this isn't my bazooka, this is my Animal Transformer Ray!" Scarlett cursed. "Great, what am I gonna do with this fluffy, and frankly adorable creature?"

"Are you almost done? I'm getting bored!" Max whined from upstairs.

"Hm… I could unleash the little varmint into Max's pants. No, that would be torture to the _Chinchilla_, who knows how Max's digestive system works." Scarlett said, cringing at the thought. "I guess I'll just have to turn an inanimate object into the Chinchilla's natural predator."

Scarlett picked up the Chinchilla that used to be a grungy repairman, and walked over to her front door. She spotted the lawnmower from last week's disaster, and zapped it with her ray. Beforehand, she had changed the animal ray to hawk. The lawnmower turned into a hawk, which eyed the Chinchilla with its big hawk eyes. It quickly flew up, and swooped down, on the fluffy rodent. It picked it up, and flew off.

"That's taken care of." Scarlett said satisfied. She walked back upstairs and poked her head into her bedroom. Max was vomiting up the canned animal food, like he'd done several times before. "Ew! You're getting it all over the rug!" Scarlett complained.

"Well maybe _you_ shouldn't feed me food from a dumpster! Evil refuses to eat from dumpsters." Max replied.

"Just finish heaving up your breakfast and let's get going, we're running low on time for this episode!" Scarlett yelled. She didn't really let Max puke anymore, because she grabbed the operating table he was on, and carried him out the door. She was a lot stronger than she looked.

* * *

><p>The two evil geniuses were now sitting on a large fishing boat. In the middle of the Arctic. Scarlett was holding a fishing pole, while Max was tied to the end of it. "Are you sure the water is perfect for swimming?" Max asked. He was in his bathing suit, which was just a purple Speedo. It truly was terrifying. Scarlett had objected, but Max insisted. This just made Scarlett want to toss him into the freezing water even more.<p>

"Oh yes, the water is perfectly good for swimming! It's at an ideal temperature!" Scarlett lied.

"Are you sure? These icebergs and the light snowfall might say otherwise." Max said suspiciously.

"Oh…" Scarlett said, trying to think of something. "That's just an illusion!"

"If you say so! Just let me limber up first!" Max began lifting his arms up, and then down.

Scarlett face palmed and reeled back and then tossed Max into the freezing water. "Hey! I wasn't done limbering!" Max shrieked as the line dragged him back, about to be plunged into the water.

When he _was_ plunged into the water, he shrieked like a madman. "You lied to me! This water is freezing! Evil will have his revenge!" Max wailed.

Scarlett smiled at his misfortune. "Oh, remember, we're fishing!" Scarlett said.

"So?" Max asked from the frigid water.

"_So_, you need to catch some fish, or we won't have anything to eat for dinner!" Scarlett said.

"Ugh, fine!" Max said, clearly not happy.

He swam underwater, still shivering. He looked around, but found nothing. Max said something, but only bubbles came out. Max turned and suddenly, a large gaping mouth can at him. He shrieked, which let out all of his air. His face turned blue and he swam to the surface.

Max breached like a whale, and as soon as he cut through the water's thin layer, you could hear his screams. As he plunged back under, a large shark leapt out of the water after him.

Scarlett looked shocked. "Well that's odd. Great White Sharks don't usually live in the Arctic.' She remarked, and waved it off.

Max came to the surface again, and his body slammed onto the wooden deck. "Ow!" He shouted.

"So, did you catch anything?" Scarlett asked.

"No! I was swimming for my life from that psychopath of a shark! What is it even doing in these waters?" Max screamed.

Scarlett shrugged her shoulders. "Well, if you didn't catch anything, back into the water!"

Max was about to say something more, but the line was pulling him back into the water. "Wait what?!" He yelled as he was finally pulled under.

Scarlett pulled out a magazine entitled: Evil Beat. She began reading, while Max was being chased through the water by an orca now. His cries didn't seem to faze Scarlett in any way, she just kept reading. "Get me out of this freezing water!" Max cried. "And keep this stupid whale away from me!"

"It's actually a dolphin." Scarlett corrected.

"_WHATEVER_! Evil doesn't care!" Max shouted at the top of his lungs.

Scarlett sighed and began reeling in the pudgy, purple-haired kid in the Speedo. When Max was finally back on the deck, he had been frozen in a block of ice. "Well, I guess it's time to break out the hairdryers!" Scarlett said. "Such a shame he didn't bring back any fish, oh well, it was fun watching him being tortured!"

Scarlett went into the captain's quarters and retrieved a box of at least three hairdryers and a space heater. "Oh wait; there are no plug-ins!" Scarlett laughed; clearly she had known this the whole time.

While Max might have been frozen, his eyes weren't. They gave a look of pure hatred. You could actually hear some sort of screaming noise coming from his half-opened mouth, if you listened carefully.

"Well, because Max is frozen, I guess that marks the end of today's episode! Until next time, I'm Scarlett, and if you don't review this episode, I will find you!" She shouted, just as the episode ends.


End file.
